Chapter CXLII: Consolation ~Lich

Lich lay in darkness. His knees were up near his chest, held in place by his forearms. The small pocket of air wedged between his mattress and his blanket was warm from the convection currents made by his body.

He had been in this situation before, all too familiar to him: Ark was gone. But what had stung most was that he had nearly killed him in the process – no, not nearly; he had to be brought back from his journey across the void to Paradise on Shade’s back with a Cup of Wishes. Thoughts of his love for Ark irked him; it was wasted and futile…especially as he had devoted much attention to the Cyan Arc.

Yet, the Cyan Arc was the replacement for his brother. He had wandered Yamauchi in the vague hope of finding him, stumbled across the great weapon lying idle in a Hyrulian Temple, was shown its potential through the visions it displayed, and underwent painful Refinement so that he could wield it. Then, like a bolt from the blue, after a period of hazy memories, Ark found him. Indeed, he had been weighing the commitments between himself and his brother ever since. The Cyan Arc had, once again, brought him much pain.

He could not let go of it. He could not pass it on to someone else. It was a part of him, and he was a part of it – he could feel the parts inserting and adjusting themselves into the Boomerang as he merged with it and created additions in those moments of intense pain he feared and hated. He was caught in a bear trap: the more he struggled, the more the jaw would tighten and the teeth dig into his flesh.

“Lumina,” he muttered, “can I stop being a Guardian? Please?”

A tear followed the path that others had taken before it, down his cheek, before his breaths became raspy with his crying.

“Damn the Sixth Oath!” he sobbed. “I don’t want the Arc anymore! I want to be normal again! I want to live in ignorance once more! Only the ignorant find their happiness – why, why can’t I?!”

The doorknob rattled, before the jingle of a set of keys was heard outside. Half of his mind wished to be left alone while the other half sought the person’s attention – he lay still as his feelings battled inside his head. The lock turned with a rumble and a click, before the door’s hinges groaned as the door opened.

“Lich?” Rainstorm called quietly.

He continued to remain still as the door opened fully. Part of him felt intruded upon; the other felt welcoming.

“Lich?” he called again.

He refused to answer as the feelings continued to conflict.

“Are you awake? I’ll go if-”

The attention-seeking side won. Lich squeaked and moved in his hollow, the blanket contouring to his new position.

“Right,” he whispered. “May I come in?”

Lich squeaked again. He could hear him step into the room before the door closed quietly. A few “pff” noises of carpet being stepped on ensued, before the springs of the opposite bed creaked – he was sitting down on it. There was relative silence except for both of their breathing. Soon it would break – Lich let him.

“Lich, are you okay?” he asked. “I saw the way Ark reacted to your brief talk with him. Didn't catch what you guys said, but...what happened?”

An annoyed sigh was his response, followed by: “I've buried myself beneath a blanket - does it even look like I'm okay?”

Another sigh was emitted, a mixture of calming down and sadness.

“It’s…it’s something personal,” Lich said, “something I’ve done that I let him see.” He paused, and sighed, “It sent him over the edge.”

Rainstorm noticed the tone of Lich’s voice. “I’m sorry,” he said uneasily, “I don’t mean to pry. If you don’t want me to ask…”

His voice trailed off as Lich began to think. He had known Rainstorm for quite a while; however, the pits of despair always brought out a distrust of everyone and everything. He kept the secret of his “enhancements” to himself – he had released them to Ark, and gauging by his reaction, how would Rainy do so? Would it bring him more harm?

The shuffling of feet and the sound of released tension in the other mattress’ springs snapped him back to reality. Footsteps began to walk towards the door – he was going to lose his chance at getting himself out of his mire of misery.

“I understand. You need some alone time?”

“No,” was the instant reply. “I – I need company.”

“Okay, then.”

The creaking of springs sounded once more, combined with a sudden change in his mattress’ shape: Rainstorm was now sitting beside him. Lich felt uneasy with the sudden encroachment of his personal space, yet the want to get out of his depression rose above the feeling.

“Rainy,” Lich began in a quiet, contemplative voice, pausing as he pieced together words in his head, “what would you feel like if…if you had someone you loved, yet at the same time, you’re trapped by another thing?”

He heard Rainstorm take in breath before he said tentatively, “Believe it or not, I've been in that situation before. Don't forget, my friend, I've been around for a couple hundred years now. I've seen some things that other people can only imagine, and been in situations of all kinds.” He sighed, the mattress creaking as he leaned forward. “Minerla never did understand. But,” he paused, “and I hesitate to ask, what exactly are you trapped by?”

The blankets moved, and soon Lich’s arm protruded from them, holding the Cyan Arc. There was a shift in weight again.

“I may be missing something here,” Rainstorm replied to the gesture. “I can't say that I quite understand.”

The fatal question came: “You're trapped by your weapon?”

The covers shook as Lich sobbed, warm tears sliding from his eyes and along the groove between his cheeks and his jaw.

A sudden change in weight and Rainstorm’s defensive voice: “Hey, hey, did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Lich sniffed as the fit passed. “You said something right.”

The blanket rose and fell as he took a deep breath, calming himself down again.

“Would you mind explaining why exactly this is such a burden to you?” Rainstorm asked tentatively, the weight changing again.

Lich sighed and took another deep breath. “I’m a Fa’dieli Guardian, as you know already, and there’s six Oaths I have to live by.”

“Right…”

“The Sixth Oath is where I must remain Guardian of the Cyan Arc until the day Shade carries me to Paradise.”

Another shift in weight and a moment’s silence: “I don’t see why this is upsetting you so.”

Lich released another sigh and shook his head. “It’s not all of it. I had to undergo Refinement to be able to wield this,” he flicked his wrist, highlighting the Boomerang, “and as a result, my body’s changed.”

Another fatal question: “In what way?”

“That –“

His feelings fought for supremacy – his want for help, his fear of releasing the secret, his want to be alone, his wanting to keep his “enhancements” a private affair. It reached a boiling point:

“That I can’t tell you…”

Now Lich was crying from the emotional overload – not breathy sobs, but mournful wails. The covers rippled from his squirming as if his inner being wanted to free itself from his body’s commitments and corruptions. Rainstorm shifted his weight again – an arm now rested against his back.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he urged. “You can tell me anything. Trust me on that one; you just have to trust me.”

“I…I…”

Lich fought for words, yet his feelings still simmered. The arm tensed itself against his back as Rainstorm remained silent, his gesture speaking for him. Lich began to calm down: the wails subsided; he grew still. He began to think once more, and from the line of thought of “I just don’t care what happens to me anymore”, Lich began to tell the first person outside of family of what he had done to himself.

“You promise not to?” he asked.

His distrust kicked his care of himself back to a high level in its need to be appeased; there was one thing he could do if the secret spread.

“If you tell…I promise that I will kill you.”

A jerky shift in weight – Rainstorm had flinched.

“I swear, on my honour, on my life, and above all things to preserve our friendship,” he replied, his voice stern.

There was no going back now. With a sniff, Lich slid himself out of the covers and sat up, his eyes red from crying, his hair a mess and his nostrils giving the faint gleam of mucus.

Rainstorm, his hood down, looked into his eyes with utmost concern. The defence of the blanket was gone – Lich had to produce something.

“This is quite hard for me, you understand,” he said.

How am I going to…ah-ha.

Lich thrust his right arm into Rainstorm’s unsuspecting hands.

“Hold it,” he commanded, and let it go limp. He let a moment’s contemplation pass before he asked, “Feel anything…strange about it?”

“Hmm,” Rainstorm replied, thinking, “Seems a bit heavier, but you’re a pretty muscled guy, aren’t you, Lich?”

His eyes sought an answer – it was time to let go.

“How’s about I tell you it’s not muscle,” he whispered.

“Hmm…big boned, maybe?”

“Not bone, either.”

“Then, what is it?”

Part of him told himself, You can lie. Reason kicked in: Then how am I supposed to make something of it? Reason won.

“Machinery.”

Rainstorm was taken aback. “Machinery?” he asked, unsurely.

Lich took his arm back from him and looked down at it.

“All down there, I have wires for nerves, lubricant for blood, hydraulics for joints…and because of that,” he sniffed, “Ark…”

He sobbed on Rainstorm’s shoulder. The precipiwizard’s hand patted his back gently.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he cooed, yet the Guardian continued to sob. “What did he say?”

“I’m no longer his brother, I’m a machine, and I love the Boomerang more than I love him,” came Lich’s gaspy reply. He then wailed, “He wants to kill me!”

“That’s not true!” Rainstorm retorted. “You know that’s not true, but more importantly, Ark knows somewhere deep inside that it’s not true, too.”

Lich’s crying subsided once again as he took his friend’s words on board.

“Let me ask you a question,” Rainstorm told him.

“Ask.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes!” was the instant reply. “Yet…now…I’m not so sure…”

“Do you think he still loves you?”

“I…hope so…I don’t know anymore…”

“Cling to that hope,” Rainstorm replied. “I’m sure it will ring true.”

There was a sudden rapping on the door, and Kenzo’s voice called, “We’re landing on Xel-ni - bah, whatever it’s called – in a few minutes. Omega needs you to direct him where to land.”

“You’d better go,” the sky-blue Yoshi told Lich as the Mechna Knight clanked back to the lounge car, and sat up straight.

Lich slid out completely from beneath the blankets, before turning his body and standing up. He blew his nose with a handy tissue, rubbed his eyes with his fingers, and tussled his hair to what he thought would be presentable. He began to walk towards the door.

“Lich?” Rainstorm interrupted.

The orange Yoshi turned to face him.

“Thank you for trusting me like that,” he said.

“Thank you, too,” Lich replied, softly.

He opened the door and slipped out into the corridor. Two forces pulled at him – one towards the Relic, and ultimately his friend; the other towards his brother. He gave the passengers of the Spectrum a now-rare appearance as he walked through the lounge, keeping his head high and his eyes focused on the engine door, acting as if nothing had happened, and failing. Others looked at him as he passed, and as he entered the engine, he was sure he could hear someone whisper, “He must be really close to him.”