Chapter CLXXIX: The Test of Wisdom – Where You Put Two Ships ~Kyanosa

Kyanosa cursed and looked around for something to hit. Unfortunately, there was nothing. No, really nothing. From the looks of things, he was in an entirely black room with no lights, so he saw neither walls nor a ceiling. The floor had to be there, since he was still standing on something, but when he looked down he couldn't see anything beside himself. Utterly frustrated, he summoned his Boulder on a String and repeatedly slammed the heels of his hands into it.

Inside his head, the other personality smirked. {Having fun?}

[We travel across the damn multiverse to go visit the land of the dead and get some half-decent armor, and within hours some trigger-happy disease-ridden
Blizzard-software reject blows a hole in the leg! I am not happy!]

{Headband.}

Kyanosa untied his headband and retied it with the white end showing, telling anybody who happened to be watching them (you) that Canopus was running the body
at the moment.

[And we've been waiting here for hours! What kind of a Test of Wisdom is this?]

{My test. He did give it to "the one called Kyanosa", after all. Maybe it's wisdom through patience. If that's true, you've probably screwed over Markior right off the bat.}

[Can it. You couldn't wisdom your way out of a paper bag.]

{I think someone's just a bit peeved that he didn't get the Power test.}

[I have enough power to carry that entire train. It's your fault that we're not exercising it to its full potential.]

{"Full potential". Is that Spanish for "all energy depleted in five minutes"?}

[Don't start with the Spanish. I'm still trying to get that thing with the pencil out of my head.]

{My head.}

[That's it, it's go time.] The second before Canopus could go Archangel and give himself a royal beatdown, a large, floating eye appeared before him. The nondescript shade of black that surrounded him turned into a nondescript shade of grey, which suited Canopus just fine. He wanted as far from black and as close to white as he could get. This at least put him and Kyanosa on neutral territory.

A voice echoed through his head. You have been chosen for the test of Wisdom. To prove your worthiness as a mortal, you must answer the question
posed to you. Be warned, for I shall ask a question for which the answer has been beyond many individuals.

As a test of physical power holds the inherent possibility of destroying one's physical body, so your line of thought may lead to the destruction of your own mind.

Canopus narrowed his eyes. [Great. Whichever personality answers and gets it wrong gets blown away. You can handle this one.]

{That's not quite what he said, but if you plan on backing down, I'm up for this.}

Silence. Well, as much as one can expect. [Fine. I'll do it.] He nodded.

I am the source of the Creation's Weapons. No longer do they belong to me, but they were crafted by my hand... I am the Eternal Balance. I must also warn you that you can not choose to abstain. If the question is posed, it must be answered. I can assure you that there is an answer to the q-

"For God's sake, just shut up and ask the question!"

The eye blinked. So be it.

Canopus braced his mind. Kyanosa did as well.

{I have your back.}

Canopus thought for a second, than accepted it. Two heads were certainly better than one when they weren't arguing over a body, and if balance was the key to this whole deal, the radical differences between the two could only help. He nodded.

What is life?

Okay, imagine this. A large circle of black marble is floating in the air, one inch thick and ten yards in diameter. Around it is total void. On it there are two people, Astral Kyanosa and Astral Canopus. Kyanosa looks just as you know him, except that his eyes are entirely black. Canopus has the white hair and eyes from the Archangel power, but no wings. Both are dressed the same way, with the metal pants and amulet and all that jazz. This is the mental forum in which the two speak to each other and how they converse as a
whole. It's just that, until now, it wasn't worth mentioning.

Canopus looked at Kyanosa through a transparent grey sphere surrounding him, which represents control of the body. Since he hadn't been controlling it for more than five minutes, it served as a strong enough shield to block off any attack Kyanosa made on it. The latter would have to wait for his chance.

[Dictionary definition?]

Kyanosa shrugged. {The state of living?}

[I don't think he'll accept that.]

{He?}

[Fine, it. Shut up. Any others?]

{Well, if death is the cessation of respiratory, circulatory, and mental function, life must be the continuation of such.}

[But plants are alive, and they do not have mental function.]

{Nobody's actually proven that.}

[Okay...cells are alive, but they don't breathe.]

{They do in a way, but it's probably not close enough to count. So we're down that definition.}

[What about something not based on species? Like "the period of time between conception and death".]

Kyanosa shook his head. {It fits earth life, but if we're actually dealing with a Creator, then I doubt it was conceived. Or at least not in any manner to which
it will admit.}

["A" creator? Don't you mean "the" creator?]

Kyanosa smiled. {Different universes will have different creators. I can accept him as the originator of one, but he did not create me. My God doesn't hide
on dead planets.}

Canopus pointed at Kyanosa. [Now you're the one assigning it a gender.]

{We're only talking about one being. I guess it's interchangeable. We're not going to get confused.}

[Back to the issue as hand. If he wasn't conceived but still lives, he certainly exists. What about "the duration of existence"?]

{That fits on a physical level...but I wonder if there's some deeper answer to this. He said that this was a tough question. Maybe he means living, not just existing. Like you know how people who do nothing with their life say they never really lived?}

[So something needs to happen. How's "the duration of experience"?]

{I like that...but what about fish?}

[...fish.]

{Fish have no memory. They experience things, but they don't know they do. Would that be different?}

[I don't know. Experience doesn't require a memory, only recollection of said experience does.]

{That's true.}

Demenoz blinked. Audibly. Canopus hadn't so much as flinched for minutes on end. Rocks were more active.

Did you hear the question?

Canopus looked up. "Yes, we're just going over it in our head."

Our head? Are you sharing a mentality?

"In a way. The best we can describe it is 'split personalities' that we've dubbed Kyanosa and Canopus. Together, we kind of make this balance about which you
rave."

Balance.

Canopus sighed. "Like I'm impulsive, but he's thoughtful. I like killing and he likes thinking. I'm courageous and he's a coward."

{Fine, be all editorial about it.}

[Oh, screw you. At least I'm honest.]

{You haven't said one bad thing about your rotten egotist self.}

[Right. Honest.]

You have found a way to achieve balance through fighting?

"It's not really fighting. We're just having differences of fact."

You must answer the question.

Astral Canopus grinned at his alter-ego. [Shall we?]

Kyanosa cracked his knuckles. {It's gotten us out of every sticky thought-provoking situation for twenty-three years. Can't hurt now.}

Canopus crossed his arms and started controlling the body. [Mental Blitz.]

"The possibility exists that you are giving us a paradoxical question with no answer. The basis of any related question and answer rely on at least one outside truth that remains true regardless of the outcome of the question itself. A question about life is completely independent of outside truths because said truths rely on it. For example, were your question to involve a view on the duration of life as a related point of the answer, it would require some fact about the end of life, commonly death. Yet death is defined as the end of life, and as such the definition of life reflects back on the presupposition
that life has already been defined."

{May I?} Astral Canopus, stepped out of the grey sphere, and in stepped Astral Kyanosa, who picked up the previous conversation in as much time as it took
for the body to refill his lungs.

"This sentence is false. Is this sentence true? If it is true that the sentence is false then the sentence is true. If it is false that the sentence is false then the sentence is true. This is a logical contradiction. The sentence can not be both true and false simultaneously. A paradox is an absurd truth that derives a repugnant conclusion from an unquestionable set of premises. The listener will usually agree with the arguments supporting the conclusion but be unwilling to accept the final inference. In this case, the inference is that life must be defined to hope for a true definition of life, though the arguments about death as the cessation of life and life as the prerequisite for death are both objectively unquestionable."

[Switch.] Canopus took over again.

"The answer always was, but it has escaped people for millennia for that simple fact. It was, because it is no longer the answer to the question because the question no longer exists and one cannot very well have an answer without a question as taught to us by Alex Trebek thus sending both the answer and the question into nonexistence which takes them out of our current timeline and proving the answer to be a was as opposed to an is. Thus there is no answer."

Your answer is that there is no answer.

Kyanosa took back the body. "There is no answer because there is no question. As soon as a question is answered adequately, it ceases to become a question, and the question and answer join to become a fact. By assuring us that there is an answer, you assured us that the question, at least as far as you can tell, is no longer a question. Thus you did not ask a question at all."

Canopus switched in and crossed his arms. "Either that, or you must admit to not knowing the answer yourself."

Neither of them moved for what felt like forever. Demenoz looked at Canopus with his (Ed: its?) massive, unblinking eye. Canopus stood and stared back, though that particular shade of grey wasn't exactly pleasant.

I am again impressed. You have managed to find paradox inherent in balance. All that is left is the test of Courage. I shall send you back to the Xel'Naga world.

Astrally, Canopus and Kyanosa gave each other a high-five before returning to nasty looks. Physically, Canopus nodded.

Though I must warn you of your current mental situation. Balance is most effective when it is accepted. Having your respective sides at odds will not last forever. Eventually, one must go.

"We but await the chance."

With that, the uncomfortable shade of grey became a blinding light, forcing Canopus to shield his eyes. Opening them again showed him to be on Xel'Neh-Mi. Artanis and Naaro walked over and nodded at him.

Naaro looked him over. "You seem to have held up better than I did. At least physically."

Canopus stared at him. "It was not hard on my body at all. I not only need to recover from extreme boredom."

Artanis looked around. Then we only require the completion of the test of Courage. We are nearly there.

Canopus sat down. He hadn't slept or eaten since he left for the underworld, and now he needed somebody on the Spectrum who could patch the bullet holes in his armor. The test might not have drained him physically, but the hours before that were starting to take their toll. He could feel Kyanosa's eagerness to return as well, but for different reason. He'd only managed a few minutes with his friends in between his trips. It was time for a stay-at-home vacation.

The second test is finished. Using two minds in tandem for the first time since in their existence and combining black and white to counteract grey, balance has triumphed over itself. One test still needs to be taken. Does Markior still have the time to be revived before his only chance for return is torn apart? Will Lich discover the purpose behind the tests? Has the Twilight Council finally played a trump card, and if they did, might it have been too early? What is Grimace doing back on the Spectrum? Will Josh wake up and extract revenge? When will Adrian give back Kyanosa's yellow book? What the heck does that amulet do? What's in Kaye's backpack? Why hasn't Mazzic
written? When was the last time anybody showered? Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why does the most powerful dead guy in the multiverse need a helmet? Do you know the Muffin Man?

To be continued.