Chapter CDVII: Of Pranks and Prophets ~Lich

Lich grumbled under his breath. Why was he even allowing this…this…scum of a reporter to follow him around? Sure, out of some good portion of his heart he had relented to Dakota’s reasoning, and maybe a cool, level-headed reporter was what he needed, but right now he seemed to be getting in the way. He hated things getting in his way.

“How much do you already know?” he asked, as he continued down the corridor.

“Read your book, cover to cover,” Dakota answered.

“You’re not going to ask me about homosexuality, are you? I’m tired of that question. What I’ve said in the past and in that book is what stands.”

He could hear the scratching of a pen on paper behind him. Hopefully, what was being written was what he had said.

The corridor went around a corner up ahead. As soon as Lich turned through it, he yelled, pulling the Boomerang out of his belt and instantly engaging its shield mechanism. Before him stood an ugly, furry creature, sporting a rather large pair of…horn-rimmed…spectacles? He lowered the weapon slightly, and noticed its obviously fake moustache. Bemused, he stopped spinning it and dropped it to his side, his grip still firm.

“Is something the matter?” Dakota asked as he came up around the corner, jumping as he saw the beast.

“Either my parents have had a sudden change in their taste of décor,” Lich answered, looking at the creature, “or else…what, by the Elementals?”

At the end of the corridor was a print of him, dressed up in his Robes of Office. His face seemed to have rather out of place marks on it. He marched up to it and inspected the damage, seeing the work of a black crayon give him a moustache, round spectacles, black hair and a cigar in the corner of his mouth, complete with smoke.

“Okay,” Lich frowned as he turned to Dakota, who had trotted quickly up behind him. “This is not the work of my parents.”

“No, I daresay that does not look fetching,” Dakota commented, but Lich had already marched back up the corridor.

The Yoshi closed his eyes and sensed the Mana Field for where his cousin had gone. Obviously, the shock of his family had been a bit much for him, and it was probably sinking in just now. He found the room, stood on the rug outside the door and turned to Dakota.

“Now, I know you said that you would go where I go,” Lich told him, “but here, I would like some priv– where’s that childlike music coming from?”

“Pardon?”

“It seems to be innocently ev-ILLLLLL!”

The jack-in-the-box sprung as it hit the right moment in the tune, flinging Lich along the corridor towards his picture again. He landed and skidded along the runner, leaving him with a carpet burn down his front. Swearing, he got up and turned to see his cousin come out of his room, dressed in more casual gear.

“What’s going on?” he asked, then noticed the paraphernalia around him. Quickly, he marched towards the broom cupboard as his door clicked shut behind him. He then flung it open and the three of them noticed an empty pair of handcuffs dangling over the hanging bar in the middle.

“Oh no…” Sixtyfourhundred moaned. “And I just got changed too.”

“What the…you put Tehx in here, Brian?” Lich asked, shocked.

The warrior turned and trotted back towards his room, raising his hand. “Don’t ask, you don’t want to ow!”

Lich approached him, seeing him jump back from the door and shake his hand. “I want to know,” he answered, first looking to him, and then to the doorknob.

“You don’t,” his cousin hissed as he clenched his wrist.

Bending over to look at the knob, he noticed a thin pink film in a bottom recess of it, covering a small black disc. “I don’t want to be held responsible for all of this,” he told him, kneeling, raising the Boomerang to prod at it. “Even though I moved out years ago, my parents still think I live here and if something has changed because I’m here,” he continued, prising it free, poking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, “it’s instantly my fault.” The disc clattered to the floor, revealing itself as a sort of buzzer. Lich looked at it, frowned, and then looked back up at his cousin. “You seem to know this entity of Multehx, and now that this happening on my home turf, I would like to know.”

“Seriously, you don’t, Lich,” Sixtyfourhundred cringed.

“Lich?” Dakota asked, picking up the familiar word in the middle of the flood of Yoshian. “Why’s he…oh, that’s right, you mentioned something on…yes…”

The two of them saw the reporter get out his copy of Light and Metaphor and thumb quickly through it.

“Who’s he?” Sixtyfourhundred asked.

“You don’t want to know,” Lich answered.

“Ah, here!” Dakota rejoiced. “‘On Yamauchi, I am called Lich, but on Fa’Diel–‘”

“Thank you, thank you,” Lich smiled, interrupting him, getting back to his feet as a brainwave struck. Wiping his lips to speak Rhenzin so that they would both understand at once, he continued, “Sixtyfourhundred, Dakota; Dakota, Sixtyfourhundred. Take care of up here. I’m going to stall my parents.”

He conceded to himself as he went back down the stairs that it was probably quite unfair to sic the reporter onto his cousin, especially when they spoke two different languages (through Dakota probably could speak Rhenzin too), but whatever this entity of Tehx had done, he needed to cover. His childhood memories of his mother’s fury rode at the front of his mind. Besides, he needed to tell his parents about Hl’garng after he told his father he would, so it formed a good enough excuse, and hopefully, the cure water spell he had cast on his cousin as he walked away would be a peace offering.

Cancelling the Rhenzin spell as he emerged in the common room, he could see his Head Warrior talking with Sapphire and Kuroi, looking rather awkward. Kuza appeared absent until he was spotted at the bar, engrossed with a drink. Apart from his party, he noticed only a few of the locals in the room as he walked across it. The media camp outside would discourage the usual level of business for his parents. So, with the lack of activity at the bar, he figured that he could get a fair amount of time to talk to his parents.

“Uh…I do not know what thou hast asked of me,” Hl’garng spoke, nervously smiling.

“Oh, I forgot that you wouldn’t have seen – oh hi, Lich,” Sapphire greeted him.

“Is Brian okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Lich answered. “Hl’garng, I need to speak with you.”

“Yes, Li-ch,” Hl’garng nodded, standing up.

“Okay, I’ll go and see him,” Sapphire said, also getting up.

“Uh…in the meantime, why don’t you and Kuroi entertain yourselves with some card games?” Lich spoke, trying to stall her from going upstairs and getting herself hurt. “The tables over there are free…um, I also see the pinball machines are vacant. You haven’t played pinball until you’ve played it on Fa’Diel. Go on, give it a go, you’ll enjoy it. Hl’garng, please come with me.”

As he led Hl’garng over towards the bar, he heard the two girls whispering behind him. Hopefully they would take his lead.

“Pocho,” Lich greeted his father as he arrived at the bar.

“Is everything alright?” Reuben asked. “There’s some strange noises coming from upstairs.”

“Everything’s fine,” Lich smiled, looking as innocent as possible. “I need to talk with you and Popo now.”

“What, now?”

“Now.”

Reuben drew a breath and reached under the counter. “Okay, Dy…it’s a bad night with what’s happening,” he told him, putting a placard on the bar that read “Back in ten minutes”. “I hope no-one leaves because of this. We need all the money I can get.” He beckoned them to follow him behind the bar into the private lounge area. “Wait here.”

As Reuben went through another door into the kitchen, Lich turned to the television as one of the channel’s hourly news updates occurred.

“Two arrests have been made in connection to the Northtown bombing,” the male newsreader spoke, accompanied by the images of two men dressed in the green and black uniform of the Scorpion Army being marched out of a house. “Imperial authorities report that one of the men stated, ‘This is not the end of the bloodshed’.”

The pictures seemed to be turned over like a page in a book, revealing pictures of Pandoran soldiers in the desert marching and undergoing field exercises. “Pandoran soldiers continue to give their ‘show of force’ to Zulan Tipsot, as time runs out for conscriptees to respond,” he announced, with a picture of a queue at Pandora Castle.
Here there was another page turn, and there was him, answering questions. “And the Guardian of the Cyan Arc has returned home, hotly denying any involvement with the Kakkaran dictator.”

“That…that is…thee,” Hl’garng spoke, surprised.

The television then cut to the newsreader. “It will be fine tomorrow, possible showers in western districts late afternoon, warm with maximums in –”

Lich picked up the remote control and thumbed the off button.

“How…where did the human…how didst thou…” Hl’garng stammered.

“It’s called a television,” Lich answered. “It lets people see pictures of things and hear things that are happening or that have happened. And when you don’t want to see and hear things any more, I can stop it from doing so.”

Hl’garng blinked. “But thou–”

“Yes, Dy?” Kara asked in Yoshian as she entered. “Oh, hello there,” she greeted Hl’garng.

Hl’garng nodded and stood tensely.

“Popo, Pocho, you might want to sit down,” Lich told his parents.

They nodded and did so, Kara looking up at him worriedly.

“Where do I start,” he spoke, raising his steepled fingers to his lips as he thought. “I guess you know that I’m rather prone to…how can I say this…things that the average Yoshi would never get to experience.”

His parents nodded. Hl’garng continued to stand stiffly and stare blankly.

“I thought this sort of wonderment would have ended when Ark came back. I mean, I have the Cyan Arc,” he continued, patting his hip, “I’ve met gods and goddesses and have friends in Olympus; you’d think this sort of thing would end somewhere. But, as my friend Hl’garng here shows, it hasn’t yet. That adventure we started on after Ark’s Ordination has, one way or another, brought me to another of those points. Pocho, you remember how I told you that Recugrian is our direct ancestor?”

Reuben thought for a moment. “Yes.”

“And you both know the Palimpsest enough to know some of Aggli’s prophecies, right?”

“What are you saying, Dy?” Kara asked.

“I’m saying that I seem to be the Yoshi he talks about.”

There was silence for a moment. “How do you know this?” his mother broke it.

“Well, you know how the myth states that Recugrian banished those he opposed to purgatory?”

They nodded.

“Well, it appears to be an error that was made as it was passed down through the years. They weren’t sent to G’lirr, but G’lirer, which, when Nase was able to contact me, he told me it was a planet a long, long way away from here.”

“So…you’ve discovered the lost tribes?” Reuben asked.

“Yes, but it goes further than that,” Lich nodded.

His parents looked up at him, wanting to hear his answer.

“Aggli says that an appointed one will descend from the mountains with the Great Spirit and someone called the Hunter. Of course, ‘Great Spirit’ is another name for Markior – he’s come back from Aiur,” Lich told the half-truth, “and as for the Hunter…the traditional hunting weapon being a spear…that is Ark. And,” Lich raised a finger before his parents could speak, “he specifically says that this appointed one will have ‘beasts of great power’ – Pokémon – and if that’s not enough, a curved blade that shines in the darkness. Now, if ‘a curved blade that shines in the darkness’ is not the Cyan Arc when a person is accompanied by Markior, I don’t know what it is. Those mountains are on G’lirer, where–”

“Dyluck,” Reuben raised his hands, “slow down. You’re saying that you fulfilled one of Aggli’s prophecies?”

“Yes, Pocho,” Lich nodded. “I fit the description. I don’t know how I can’t, apart from it not being me, and if it’s not being me, then this does not deserve to happen. Hl’garng, who am I?”

“Thou art the Lord of the A’gul, the Spoken of Recugrian’s Blood, the Appointed One, the Young Warrior, the Hope of Nine Generations,” Hl’garng spoke, bowing to him.

Lich nodded. “Aggli said I would rule over lands and give them great prosperity; and since it is my last wish to create civil war in the Archipelago, those lands are G’lirer. I think I may have found my true calling in life. The Cyan Arc and being in Olympus have only been stepping stones. I have a lot of work before me. Unlike Yamauchi, life on G’lirer has remained relatively unchanged for five hundred years.”

There was a rather loud thump above them. Everyone looked up.

“Noisy guest,” Kara mused, dismissing it. “But, Dy…if what you say is true…that…that is wonderful news. To think, my son is a powerful king,” she smiled, then frowned. “But what about Ark? Where is he, anyway? And where are your Pokémon?”

Lich cringed mentally, feeling his heart sink. He didn’t want to tell them. “My Pokémon are being cared for. As for Ark, he…he’s busy with robotics,” he spoke weakly.

“Too busy to come with you to visit us?” Kara spoke, raising an “eyebrow”.

“He…he…I don’t know where he is,” Lich sagged. “I have reason to believe that he is still on G’lirer; just on a different portion of the planet than I was. But…he should be here in the next few days or so, hopefully. Don’t…don’t worry. Everything is under control.”

“Something’s happened to him, hasn’t it?” Reuben asked.

Lich slumped further, his heart racing with fear. Bad things had been following him everywhere since he boarded the Spectrum. And with Multehx there – somewhere – in Kippo, and the trouble he tended to attract…he did not want to make his parents afraid. He did not want them to suffer from his problems.

“Whilst on G’lirer, I had some visitors,” he sighed. “One of them was a giant robot, far more advanced than what Ark can create. It seemed to have quite advanced AI, and it sensed Ark’s aptitude with robotics, so it…kidnapped…him.”

“He’s been kidnapped?!” Kara exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

“Popo, Popo,” Lich begged, raising his hands. “It’s all under control. My friend Vector – the one who can run faster than sound – he ran into Ark, alone, on the other side of the planet. With another friend, the two of them are going to bring Ark to Fa’Diel, thanks to a spaceship that crashed there recently. Don’t worry.”

“I hope this happens, Dy, because…gods…I can’t lose Ark again,” Kara spoke, sitting down again, approaching the verge of tears.

“It’d be good if you didn’t have such a dangerous lifestyle,” Reuben frowned, an arm around his wife.

Yes, it would, Lich thought. “I know, Pocho. I can’t help it. I’m an instrument of fate, with prophecies and gods and Boomerangs. I wish I wasn’t, sometimes – no, many times. But, I can’t help it. Nothing can.”

“Barkeep? Are the taps still flowing or have you closed for the night?” a voice called from the bar.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” Reuben called.

“I know I shouldn’t throw things upon you two like this because of me,” Lich sighed, “but…watch out for strange people, especially humanoids with no noses. If you see one…” No, then it’s too late… “Look, just…watch out. Please.”

Reuben and Kara nodded.

“I’m going to try and get some sleep,” Lich announced. “I’ve come a long way today and being harassed by the media is a sure way to take it out of you. I need my energy, anyway: I’m sure you know from the news that I’m not excused of my military duty to this country. I’m going off again tomorrow morning, after I see Nase. Pray that the media have decided to go home. Good night, I’ll see you in the morning briefly. Sleep well. Hl’garng, I’ll show you to your room.”

“Fourteen,” Reuben spoke. “Good night.”

“Good night, Dy,” Kara spoke quietly.

Lich led Hl’garng upstairs and opened the door to his room. “Good night, Hl’garng, and thanks.”

“Good night, Li-ch,” he told him, and went over to the bed.

As Lich shut the door after him, he saw that he gave it a few tentative presses with his hand. The Lord of the A’gul continued along the corridor to his room, noticing the lack of the creature, jack-in-the-box, and his print. He opened the door to his room and stepped inside.

He looked to his bed and smiled, and then to the other. It would remain vacant tonight. Lich sighed. “Vec, Naar, I hope you’re bringing him home now.”

He sighed again and removed his thongs from his feet, undid the buckle on his belt and stepped out of his shorts, throwing both onto a peg of a hatstand. He drew the sheets back, then turned to the hatstand and pulled the Boomerang out of his belt. He flicked the light switch, then lay down on the bed and pulled the sheets up, and then clutched his weapon close to his chest.

Sproinnng-whump! “…Argh!”